Baby's College Fund Now Just a Tin Cup and Fingerless Gloves

"We figure if we set him down in a corner of the subway station during the morning commute while he still has his baby looks, he could maybe scrape up enough for Globe University one day?" says Baby Brant's mother who blew Baby Brant's college savings on trying to conceive him.

At press time, Baby Brant sucked on a harmonica beside a toasty fire barrel.